The Best of Everything (1974)

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The Best of Everything (1974) DVDRip

"e;Here we have The Best of Everything, not to be confused with the 1959 Joan Crawford potboiler. This plotless succession of couplings comes with live sound (the better to hear impromptu giggles and off-camera directions) and a dispassionate narrator who introduces each loop as a shining example of porno expertise circa 1970.

Things look up (as it were) as none other than CANDY SAMPLES, the Grandmother of Gobblers, turns up in a scene our narrator introduces as "e;phenomenal."e; In boner-friendly closeup, her aged tongue whirls like an outboard motor, and her trim, two-toned love stubbles (part auburn, part gray) prove to be the best groomed of the lot. You gotta hand it to Candy; even in her journeyman days, the woman exuded class.

Ms. Samples returns for an encore performance during the grand finale, a five person schtup-a-thon during which a moaning, groaning, mop-topped lummox gets his staff of righteousness righteously preyed upon by two chortling teeny-boppers. The twitching guy literally squeals like a pig, much to the amusement of his alluring tormentors, each of whom displays dense webworks of knotted vaginal fibril.

A hair-raising experience, to say the least, which also features SUZANNE FIELDS, MYCLE BRANDY, RIC LUTZE, SANDI CAREY, KEITH ERICKSON, and ANDY BELLAMY. "e;

Featured IMDB Review: Show"e;Excerpts posing as a feature film

Loyal adult movie patrons in the '70s, particularly at the Dragon Art Theatre, were treated to this awful recycling of excerpts from previous films, an uncalled for case of deja vu. Something Weird saw fit to reissue it on Vol. 46 of its DAT series.

Most of the scenes are very, very familiar, as they are taken directly from the feature film THE ELEVATOR, itself reissued in much better condition on Vol. 34 of SWV's Dragon Art DVD-Rs. So here's a chance to see Candy Samples' classic b.j. on Adam Ward again, ensuing group sex, and Sandi Carey's elevator sex with Jim Frost. Many other big names including Ric Lutze are also reanimated here.

An idiotic narrator provides a fake context for this random footage, even lying about its origin. Soundtrack music, in Muzak versions, plays like a greatest hits tape of pirated tracks, including: "e;Dock of the Bay"e;, "e;Hey Jude"e;, "e;I am the Walrus"e;, "e;Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-Da"e;, "e;Lay Lady Lay"e;, "e;Raindrops Keep Falling"e;, "e;People"e;, "e;Love Is Blue"e;, "e;Misty"e;, "e;Little Green Apples"e;, "e;Goin' Out of My Head"e;, Paul Simon's "e;America"e; and of course, Nino Rota's love theme from "e;Romeo and Juliet"e;. These pornmeisters have no shame."e;

Studio : Something Weird Video

Cast :
Andy Bellamy
Candy Samples
Cindy West
Mycle Brandy
Sandi Carey
Suzanne Fields
Keith Erickson
Rick Lutze

Action: Hardcore M-F, M-F-F, and group sex

Video Quality Guide
Overall Quality: Marginal Clarity: 6/10 Color: 3/10 Notes: Pretty decent clarity, but colors are heavily washed out and moderately green and red-shifted.
Technical Info
Container: AVI Bitrate: 2.2 Mb/sVideo Encoder: Xvid Resolution: 640 x 480 Audio Encoder/Channels: MPEG / 2

Quality Guide Notes: ShowAll ratings are of course subjective.

Overall Quality: Poor, marginal, decent, good, or excellent. Poor will be a low-quality scan and encode of a crummy magnetic tape master or a very degraded film. Most vintage films are decent to good. High quality DVD and BluRay releases from VS and Alfa France are often excellent.

Clarity: A subjective rating (out of 10 'points') combining original resolution/clarity, visual artifacts such as noise and tracking errors, and compression artifacts. Common VHS scans typically range from 3 to 5. Good VHS scans and most DVD scans are 5 to 7. Note that very high-quality 480p scans can have 10/10 clarity rating, despite the "e;low"e; resolution.

Color: A subjective rating (out of 10 'points') of color accuracy and exposure.

Notes: Major artifacts and any other info worth noting.

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A Note About Duplicates: With vintage films, there will often be another version of what I'm uploading already available on emp. I will always compare my upload against all versions currently available on emp. I will only take the time to upload it if it is either:

-- substantially better quality than what's already available, or

-- a substantially better encode (quality per bitrate), than those already available. Usually this will be an x265 encode of an original DVD or BluRay. I will not re-encode a good-quality x264 or XviD DVDRip just to make an x265 version.

-- I strive to make my original DVD encodes (which will be noted in the description) look as close to the source as possible. I will generally use x265 (slow preset) at CRF 17-19 for SD content and CRF 23 for HD content. I will detelecine film back to 24 FPS when required for film that has been telecined to run at 29.97 FPS. If required, I de-interlace with EDDI2.

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